DUDE. I'm so mad. SOOO mad. Can I tell you why I'm so mad? Because people are stupid and insensitive. I was at the Etiquette dinner at the Omni Orrington, which is basically a dinner put on by Class Council and the Alumni Association to teach people dinner etiquette for business dinners and stuff like that. It was going well, until the etiquette consultant, Nonni, told us that we shouldn't make any sounds while eating pasta, although in Asia, "sucking" noodles is acceptable. We were like, wha? Vast overgeneralization there, but whatever. Later on, she tells us that in Asian countries, they pick food out of their teeths with toothpicks at the dinner table-- something obviously not acceptable here. She also mentions that, hey, she noticed that there are a lot of Asian students out there tonight. Little later she's explaining the proper etiquette for dress and taking off dress coats. She mentions that for men, it's proper to always keep the bottom button unbuttoned on a dress coat. And how in ASIA, the men button all three buttons, so to all the Asian men, remember to unbutton your bottom button when you go to an interview!
We were by then at about the main course. Me, Christine, Michelle, Emmy, Joy... we're all pretty pissed by now. But we're holding it in, making fun of her behind her back, not trying to make a big deal out of it. Next comes the salad. Etiquette lady is talking about how it's good manners to maintain eye contact with people. In ASIA, people don't look others in the eye, as a form of respect, but that shouldn't be done in this country, because it's bad manners. AAAHHH! Who is this woman! But there's more!! I guess someone told her that her comments were a little disrespectful and offensive, because she brings up that hey, she doesn't mean to offend anyone. She is a certified Asian etiquette specialist, and has even led tours into Asia. She's just trying to offer a comparison to our culture, and that these tips can be very useful. For instance, she once knew a Chinese student who was on a college interview, and during the entire interview looked down and held his head in his hands. He thought he was being respectful by not making eye contact, but in reality, he was being rude. At this point, I was severely pissed by her attempt at justifying her comments, and her comments in general. So me, Ankur, Byun, Joy, David up and left. Just couldn't take it anymore.
Now, I know this lady wasn't trying to be offensive, and that she was trying to give tips in case somehow we're doing business in Asia. But I was SO OFFENDED by her remarks, because I felt like she was singling out the Asian students in the rooom as people who needed extra tips because of their cultural habits. I also felt she was looking at us solely as Asians, and not recognizing that in reality, most of us were actually American as well. I felt that she was deriding Asian culture as being rude and uncouth compared to the etiquette in the US-- "our country." There's also the huge problem of generalizing Asia and Asian culture-- DUDE. Asia encompasses a lot of countries, and honestly, the etiquette in India is very different from the etiquette in Japan. She was basically taking an entire continent of people and culture and generalizing it into a few habits.
Now, I don't think Nonie was trying to be racist. I just think she was really offensive and insensitive. I wanted to ask her, hey, what happens if you're at a nice dinner and someone starts making remarks that and culturally offensive and insensitive? What's the proper etiquette for that??
