I'm watching "day after tomorrow" on tv right now, about apocalyptic weather changes because of global warming. I think I'll do a running commentary. Spoilers ahead, just in case you intend on watching this movie later on.

So far, this movie is FREAKIN THE CRAP OUT OF ME. Seriously. Messing with mother nature is NOT GOOD. Snow in India, floods in NY, tornadoes in LA, a new ice age in north america... it's scary. Seriously, a tornado in LA. It tore apart the CapitalRecords building. And a lot of people just died while waiting in traffic. Which I'm sure is a recurring nightmare for many Los Angelenos.

JakeGyllenhall lives in DC but is in New York for an academic decathalon kind of thing. I wish we had that when I was in high school. I think I would have been good. Anyways, he's there with rich white guy friend, nerdy black guy friend, and hottie from PhantomoftheOpera. Seriously, what girl is that hot and that smart? JakeG has a hidden crush on her. Although it's not so hidden, cause he keeps giving her those longing looks. All flights are cancelled because of the BIBLICAL FLOODS.

The wolves escaped from the zoo in New York because of the biblical floods. I suspect that will come up again later on.

Americans are illegally immigrating to Mexico to escape the killing freeze by cutting fences and crossing the Rio Grande. It just became un-illegal when the president negotiated for open borders in exchange for forgiving Latin American debt (very magnanimous of the Mexican president to negotiate on behalf of all of Latin America and not just Mexico). Hahahah. Genius. Have I mentioned I am loving this movie???

If I was in New York and the storm became bad and it turned into killer freeze, I would stay in the public library with JakeG and stay warm. Those suckas walking south are suckas. Listen to Jake!

JakeGyllenhall is hot.

Climatologist DennisQuaid is going from DC to NY to save his son, JakeG. One of his co-rescuers crashed through the glass roof of a mall and had to cut himself off the line in order to save the other two. Malls are evil.

The president died! And now DickCheney look-alike VP, who early in the movie discounted DennisQuaid's theory on why fucking with mother nature is NO GOOD, has a horrified look on his face. When this happens in real life, that's how realDickCheney is going to feel about AlGore.

Pretty girl from Phanton of the Opera is hurt. And they just did the "she'll need a massive dose of penicillin or....." Long scared pause. "Or what?" Why didn't this movie win for best screenplay?????

JakeG and his two brave friends are going with him to the big ass ship that sailed into midtown manhattan and is now snowbound there to get penicillin to save his lady love. How? With snowshoes they made out of the backs of chairs!!!! It's better than MacGyver.

Oh oh.... HERE COME THE WOLVES!!!!! Run cute boys run!!

And now this crazy freezing cold snow hurricane/tornado thing is headed right for New York where Jake is. And they're stuck with the wolves on the boat. I think it's time to get the motherfucking wolves off the motherfucking boat. Or trap the motherfuckin wolves on the boat and get the hell off. Which is what they did.

Have I mentioned DennisQuaid is snowshoeing from Philly to NY to save his son?

Oh man. JakeG and friends just barely outran the killer freeze. The special effects are actually pretty freaking awesome... You can see the killer freeze as it makes its way through the floors and the walls and freezes an American flag as it's waving valiantly. In the library, they're staying warm by burning books in the one fireplace in the whole library. Killer weather and the burning of books- it's really the end of western civilization. Very subtle, filmmakers.

Oh. The suckas walking south froze to death. Sorry suckas. North America is a frozen tundra. DennisQuaid and co-rescuer are passing by a frozen LadyLiberty. That has to be another metaphor for something.

They made it to the library!!! It is too late? It looks like the fortress of solitude in there. AWWWW!!! REUNION!!! Despite the snow and killer freeze, DennisQuaid and JakeG have repaired their frozen relationship. Ha.

Fake DickCheney VP is giving a "my fellow americans" speech about how the third world countries are sheltering americans and how we have to be more environmentally conscious. Why can't this guy be our VP??? Preach it Fake DickCheney VP. Preach it.

And there are more survivors in NewYork! Man, New Yorkers are resilient. Forget terrorists, they even survive apocalyptic weather.

So in the end, JakeG is hot, DennisQuad is rugged (and hot), JakeG got the girl, the US is a frozen wasteland, Americans either died or went to Mexico, and I'm scared of the weather.

If you can't tell I'm in a weird mood. I think it's from spending all day at Barnes studying. I'm so not used to it, it messed up my brain.